You might be Christian Reformed if...

you hear "tulip" and think "Total depravity, Unconditional election, Limited atonement...."
you visit another church and the second question you're asked is, "Are you related to...."
"voices" aren't something you hear, but read and write.
when you hear the word "King," you think of peppermints.
you can't think of any use for peppermints outside of church.
you know what a Psalter Hymnal is - and why it's called that.
you think you go to a contemporary church because they use the new gray Psalter Hymnal.
you know someone who has left the CRC because of the new gray Psalter Hymnal.
you've heard of a guy named Dooyeweerd.
you think kids who go to public school are strange.
the biggest decision of your life is between Calvin and Dordt (or Trinity, or Redeemer, or King's).
you have at least one relative in an independent Reformed church.
you think RCA is a "liberal denomination," not a brand of electronic equipment.
a church picnic isn't the place to find Ms. or Mr. Right - because everyone's related.
you get agitated and start looking at your watch when the minister says, "And my 4th point is...."
you're sure that 'klompen' is the Dutch word for 'shoe,' not someone's last name or the sound heard in church at the end of a service.
you know that Calvinism is not a daily habit of reading the comic strip, 'Calvin and Hobbes.'
you have your house fumigated because termites were found in your wife's souvenir wooden shoes.
you develop a craving for ham buns.
you know that on Sunday, 9:30 a.m. and 6 p.m. are the times when church should begin.
churches are radical if their evening service starts at 5 p.m.
you became depressed when the Banner began to arrive in your mailbox every other week, instead of weekly.
you decided to form a study committee to add items to this list.
your study committee submitted a majority and minority report.
someone mentions Pastor John DeVries, and you have to ask which John DeVries that is.
you think copper wire was invented by two Dutchmen fighting over a penny.
you get a sun burn when you read under a lamp.
you consider 30°F in the winter is warm.
you take off your shoes before entering the house
your last name begins with "Van"
you think the Arminian flower is the daisy ("He loves me, He loves me not, He love me, ...")
you get excited at the thought of salted licorice
you don't think twice when someone mentions their Oma
you insist on singing the Dutch words to Ere Zig Gott
you have the comics from The Banner taped up on your door and actually laugh at them